Dear L,
I have to say I can so much relate to what you’re feeling. I was there and knew what it was like to have the emotional ups and downs. It takes time to find ourselves. When we’re alone with ourselves, we have a chance to get to know what it’s like to be us. I think what might help to speed up your recovery is doing the opposite of trying and focusing on getting that last bit of thoughts/weight related to him out of your system. What you fight, you actually give the power to. What you focus on grows. It’s how our brains work. When you give less focus on forgetting him & the related memories, you will actually let it go. Another way is to try to understand that everyone who came into our lives was meant to teach us something about ourselves. Sometimes, it’s a bit easier to let something go when we come to an awareness that it was not meant to be. Embrace this alone time. When there is less focus on the past and more focus on finding who you are and what truly brings you joy, you will build a stronger foundation in who you are. Focus on doing the things that brought you those glimpses of joy. Try out different hobbies. When you find joy in being you, the memories of what happened will feel so much different. There will actually be a sense of gratitude. Much love to you.