Hey Matt!
I think Matt ment he cashed in his 401K savings to fund his education not a 401,000 dollar nest egg. That being said, MATT EASE UP ON YOURSELF, pleeeeeease!
I am 40, and had to move back home for a bit two years ago. Most of my friends have had to do the same at different times since graduation from high school. The old graduate high school, go to college, get good job, buy house and car with new wife, and have 2.5 babbies, 1 dog, get promoted, blah blah blah. That no longer exists. You need to craft a new narrative for yourself, with values that resonate with you. And from what you have said, you have an awesome start!
As for the girl. If you are still in communication with her, please go and tell her what you told us here. You need to let her know how this hurt you and why. She may completely blow you off, it may become a fight. It does not matter. You still love her and probably always will, and you deserve to be heard. Then you will feel less tied to your past and pressured by the values that surround you every day. You are doing great, my friend!