Hi Irene,

For people with a drug addiction, stress is one of the key triggers for their relapses. It often start with something small, like using it recreationally to make the parties more fun but if they are using it to cope with bad times, it is an indicator that they are drug dependant. Over time, this will take away their ability to deal with problems in life and instead, they will continue to use drugs and/or blame others for their own mistakes. Though it’s true that you called the police, he was the one who broke the law. Remember that we are all responsible for our own choices and if you take the full blame for what happend, he can never use this as an opportunity to get out of his cycle.

After this incident, things will never be the same between the two of you because even if he contacts you again, the guilt will make you go out of your way to make the relationship work. For example, You said that perhaps you should not have tried to change him but is it really friendship to see someone we love doing something that is destroying themselves without saying anything? If this is the path you follow, it will only go on to destroy your self esteem even further as you will be suppressing your true feelings and second guessing yourself.

This may sound a bit harsh but if you are not happy with your own life, you are not in a position to help anyone else. If you really want to help this person, make sure that you are in a good stable place in your life first otherwise you will just get dragged into all the different dramas.