Thank you for all your kind works, i realized there’s nothing i can do about it. I really pray that this will only turn out good for him as i meant no harm to him.

@yue, i agree with you. I’m not very happy with my current life and still is struggling with some self love issues. maybe that’s why i’m so desperately try to fix him.

Losing him kind of opened my eyes how i’m still vulnerable and dependent towards other people. I haven’t been sleeping well and there’s this constant feeling of lost and sadness throughout my days. I know i’m romanticizing the past, there were a lot of times he treat me as i didn’t matter. and ironically i did feel alone too on some days where he wasn’t sober, but i think what gave me a sense of comfort is that there’s always someone i can talk to before i fall asleep. I’m trying hard to move on, i don’t seem to know how to live by myself. Do you guys have any similar experience and any advice?

Thank you