When I think about it if she hadn’t told me until after he was born maybe I wouldn’t have went through all the pain I did. Then again maybe it would have been worse. We’ll never know now.

The anger at what she did was impossible not to feel. Having sex whilst pregnant with my child is not something I was able to turn my my nose up at, not even now. I’ll never be ok with that.

However I’m not allowing the hate to consume me any longer. 3 years is long enough. I may still get angry now & again if I think about it but I won’t allow it to fill my soul.

I want to be truly happy & find the woman of my dreams. I know it’s not possible to do that whilst harbouring hate.

I still hate the guys I’m p****d off with & people around my ex. But I don’t need forgive them, I just won’t assign any more feeling to any thoughts about them. They just don’t exist.