I was in a similar relationship for over 25 years I enabled ,made excuses for her ,took the blame for her actions and although I didn’t realize it I never had a name for it I have experienced PTSD as a result of her affairs
certain places or things would trigger thoughts it was really hard I told her that I had forgiven her but in reality I needed to forgive myself for putting up with those things for so many years you cant forgive her or anyone else if you cant forgive yourself first think about that try to focus on that her character flaws are not your problem anymore they had nothing to do with you have a new wife whom you trust and love very much live in the moment don’t let the actions of your ex steal one more minute and why worry about something you have no control over there’s nothing you can do about it believe me I know its easier said than done and I wish you well I’m sorry you’re going through this