Emma,

The best advice I can give you is to try and see that you would not be who you are today without having been who you were then. All of the mistakes, all of the things that makes you cringe to think about…those built you. They gave you the consciousness, the awareness, the drive and the tact you have today and, as difficult as it can sometimes be, that deserves some gratitude.

I was also an idiot (my word) when I was younger. I made really bad decisions about men and sex and got myself into some scary, unsavory situations. I left highschool when I was 16 because of an incident of sexual assault and it took me until I was 24 to fully come to terms with what I had done and what had been done to me. For all of the years in between, I just sort of tried not to think about that stuff until one day I found myself really angry about an extraneous situation in my life and I realized that the anger I was feeling was actually traceable back to my teen years and the things therein that I had not yet dealt with. That being said, I commend you on tackling this issue right now! That’s an intelligent move made by a smart person!

So…try to forgive yourself. You didn’t know better back then. When I was 15 and 16 and making insane decisions about my body and my life I was simply ill equipped to make any other decisions. I didn’t know any better but now I do. I got out of that unscathed, without any lasting physical repercussions, and now I’m worlds away from that place. You are too. Learn from what you were and try to move on. You’re a role model, my friend, and you’ve come a long way. Hold that in your heart.

Best,

Ashley