Moving on is the only thing you can do, and that is easier said than done, but only you can forgive that person who you were then We our an ever changing entity, the human body that is, not only does our body change through cellular processes, but our minds, brains, and the essence of who we are changes as well. From infant to toddler, toddler to child, teen to young adult, adult to senior we are always changing. Through learning and experience and even things out of our control we are constantly changing. During our teen years some become the victims of hormones that drive us mad with desire, some never develop out of this phase. Some people develop greatly around their thirtieth year where it is said that their truer “person” has finished developing, but some people change later in life. One of the main qualities that is either developed or stunted is that of will power and self control, also what may be called having good character, knowing right from wrong and doing right and abstaining from wrong.

You have found yourself guilty in the court of your mind and you feel that you must suffer for your “sin,” rather than accepting that you have already sufferred through being ignorant of your “sin.” To me this is what Jesus Preached yet Christianity has missed the ball. You ruminate your guilt of past wrong doings, that trivial at that, they were growing pains and many go through the same thing. Forgive yourself and you shall be forgiven and that feeling of hell will release its grips on you.

People suffer either by not accepting who they are or not accepting who they were. In one case you can’t change and must accept it and in the other you must accept who you were. You can’t change who you are to others if they only see who you were, then who cares . If you love having fun and being passionate then that is apart of who you are and does not mean you have to be guilty or change that characteristic only that you must learn self control as you did so forgive yourself and accept the present you because in 10 years you may be feeling guilty for wasting this time for feeling guilty and when you are dead or dying you will be suffering with thoughts of guilt still and will be sentencing yourself to hell if there is an afterlife or not as you want to be at peace as you leave this life.

Dear Emma,

To move on, is to accept and put it down. That is, accept that your past was a baggage and it is too heavy so, it is time to put it down.

It is in the past. It happened. But we learn, don’t we? We learn, by identifying the matter, accept that yes, immaturity played a huge part in making those decisions. And now, it is the present. Present, like what it is, is a gift to be unwrapped. Layer by layer which represents the future.

Till we unwrap it all and see what’s inside, what do you want to see? A beautiful green jade that is formed with years of cultivation to be compassionate, forgiving and joyful? Or a bag of nutshells, decomposed and stinky due to constant accumulation?

Give yourself time to accept your past and then put it down. There’s no shame or embarrassment, only if we want to tag ourselves with that.

Namaste.:)

Emma,

The best advice I can give you is to try and see that you would not be who you are today without having been who you were then. All of the mistakes, all of the things that makes you cringe to think about…those built you. They gave you the consciousness, the awareness, the drive and the tact you have today and, as difficult as it can sometimes be, that deserves some gratitude.

I was also an idiot (my word) when I was younger. I made really bad decisions about men and sex and got myself into some scary, unsavory situations. I left highschool when I was 16 because of an incident of sexual assault and it took me until I was 24 to fully come to terms with what I had done and what had been done to me. For all of the years in between, I just sort of tried not to think about that stuff until one day I found myself really angry about an extraneous situation in my life and I realized that the anger I was feeling was actually traceable back to my teen years and the things therein that I had not yet dealt with. That being said, I commend you on tackling this issue right now! That’s an intelligent move made by a smart person!

So…try to forgive yourself. You didn’t know better back then. When I was 15 and 16 and making insane decisions about my body and my life I was simply ill equipped to make any other decisions. I didn’t know any better but now I do. I got out of that unscathed, without any lasting physical repercussions, and now I’m worlds away from that place. You are too. Learn from what you were and try to move on. You’re a role model, my friend, and you’ve come a long way. Hold that in your heart.

Best,

Ashley