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Reply To: Trying to not let my past dictate my present and future, but it isn't working

HomeForumsEmotional MasteryTrying to not let my past dictate my present and future, but it isn't workingReply To: Trying to not let my past dictate my present and future, but it isn't working

#72457
Yue
Participant

Hi Steve,

The others have made some valid points about letting go in that it’s a gift you give yourself rather than your ex.

Reading your post, I noticed that your anxieties mainly come from 2 sources. The first is when you compare your life with someone else (e.g. Your ex). There are a million articles here about why this is a bad idea but the fact is when you had your divorce, you made a choice to be the primary cater which means that you will not have time to travel the world or date as much as your ex does. I think you’ve made the right choice here since you can do the other stuff later but you will never get your time with your boys again. Things might be a bit tough now but remembering why you made this decision and that it was your choice can help.

The second is when you feel that the world didn’t work the way you expect it to (e.g. why nice guys finish last). Let’s be honest here Steve good things don’t always happen to good people and people who lie and cheat through life always seem to get ahead in the short term. But you know what, that’s ok because we don’t do good things because we expect to be rewarded. We do it so that we can bring something positive to the world and sleep at night. As for dating, being nice and a gentleman is good but there is a little something extra that’s required for chemistry to happen. So don’t get jaded when things didn’t work out because I am certain that you are not attracted to every nice woman out there either.