Hi Risingwind,

My bet is that you know in your heart what’s right. The toughest part is learning to listen to it and, moreover, learning to TRUST and then act on it. It sounds like you’re both pretty young and, since men mature SO much slower than women, it’s very possible that this guy might rise up to meet you at some point. My boyfriend and I went through something sort of similar in terms of his relationship with his toxic, abusive father. He abandoned me time and time again, I felt like he damaged the love between us, I didn’t want to be intimate or close to him at all. I thought it was over and then, just recently actually, he’s begun to come around and if things stay like this I think we’ll make it. So…there’s hope. It took three years for us and it’s up to nobody but you whether you want to wait and see. There’s also a definite possibility that you’ll remain very different people and you would both be better served by going your separate ways. Nobody can make that decision but you. My advice is simply to spend some time alone, hang tight to your family and friends, listen to your heart and then go with your gut. It’s tough to go wrong like that. All my best to you.

Ashley