How difficult. I’m so sorry for both of you, and for your children.

I’d suggest just being the best you (rather than the best husband) that you can be. Titles like “husband” and “wife” can sometimes hold so much more importance than they are worth, and just get in the way. Some unmarried people are more married and committed than those who took vows. Doing what is right will always be beneficial to both of you, regardless of title, and dropping the need to be that to her will take unnecessary pressure off of both of you.

Continue doing what you are, without needs for yourself, even if it is exhausting. She is the one with mortality on the line, on top of the sheer violating nature of cancer. I’m sure you are scared; you love her. Be strong. The best thing you can do is to care, love, and be selfless. Hang in there!