Hi Doreen,
Thank you for posting! You are allowed to feel how you feel, and withholding and suppressing your heart and mind is going to add fuel to the fire that is causing you pain. Allow yourself to feel what you feel! You must honor your pain and frustration, forgiveness cannot be forced but is rather a true letting go. It’s not an intellectual or psychological decision, it’s a release of emotion. Is there someone you can vent to? Or something? I find it helpful to write uncensored letters (sometimes hate letters!) just to get all that “stuff” out of your exhausted brain!! Knowing he’ll never read it and that you’re safe to say whatever you want, write an uncensored letter to him and see what is there. Maybe there are things in there that you feel you could actually say to him?

I would imagine, having been through a similar situation, that what you might really be feeling is insecure and you may have a lowered self-esteem because of this. For me those feelings can cause feelings of guilt and feeling lost. I would advise you to get in touch with what’s really underneath all that. For me, expressing and acknowledging what I’m feeling underneath the anger, revenge and distance (which is usually a really simple feeling of being hurt), is helpful to clear my head and heart and be able to seek real forgiveness. He set his attention away from you. That is hurtful! Especially if you feel even the slightest bit of insecurity about yourself, which most of us do at least from time to time.

Let all those emotions out my girl!!!! Find a safe place and express yourself! Maybe you just need to be heard by YOU.

Breathe and smile.

xx
Rose