Hi Will. As I am reading your response, I’m smiling because it’s so many of these things: I wrote briefly in above how my childhood was broken, and that the one thing that brought the women of my family joy was antiquing. They would focus on something specific, and come hell or high water, they would get it, and it would make them happy when they were otherwise not very happy women. My mother was not like that, but my grandmother and my aunt were. My mother was a collector of beautiful antiques, but she had no attachment to things. She collected because beautiful things made her happy. In turn, I have collected things that bring me some sort of joy. I love being surrounded my beautiful, old things. I think possessions have always made me feel secure. It was one of the few things that brought our family together. Building our home, when it was generally fraught with difficulty and pain. So, many of the things that you mention apply to me. And yes, finally, I do feel on some level that as a writer i should have gotten the books. Many people collect books because they are pretty, and I collect them to read them. Some collect books on the cheap so they can resell them. Alas, I should not feel that I am more qualified to have a thing than someone else, regardless our reasons.

And thank you for reminding me not to judge myself. I have an awful habit of doing that.