I’ll just be ensuring my boy only calls me daddy. I expect his mum to make sure of this too. I am his one & only daddy & unless I’m dead I’m the only one who gets called daddy. Because he only has one daddy just the same way he only has one mummy.

Her having sex after we broke up isn’t the problem. Her having sex whilst pregnant with my child, is the problem. It’s undoable. It affected me so much that I had to move 50 miles away. I view the men she had sex with whilst carrying my child as fateful enemies & wish they be held accountable for their actions. If I hadn’t moved away I would most likely have administered punishment myself. Poetic justice would be for them to experience exactly what I did. For the woman carrying their child to screw around whilst pregnant. I do hope this to happen to all or any of them.

I’m gunna persevere with my healing regardless. I like doing the EFT & meditation I believe it really is helping my inner peace.

Another thing I haven’t mentioned but relates to “holding on to it for later” is the messages my ex sent me when she was pregnant. I have kept the phone with the message thread where she told me she was going to “f*ck who she wants when she wants & it’s none of my business” … Initially i told her I was keeping it to show her son when he is older & show him what a sl*g she was etc. I said this obviously to try & hurt her back at the time when I was desperate & she was severely hurting me.

Since then I’ve long a go came to my senses & I know it wouldn’t be fair in my boy to show him those messages in 15 years. But why am I holding on to the phones then? I think I’ve been holding them as “insurance” or something so if & when my ex ever tries anything I can refer back to the phones & remind her of what I could do to her in 10 years.

Yeah I know my sons feelings & welfare is most important. But that doesn’t mean I should simply roll over & accept the way I’ve been treated. I know it’s all past but it still happened & it’s always going to be in my head on some level. I’ll always remember what she did & the way in which she did it. I’ll always miss those moments & times I got denied with my son that I can never get back.

Gunna persevere as I’ve said. I may hate her forever, especially since there are future possible scenarios that I’m anticipating. But I’ll persevere.

Thanks. I have to win my true happiness & freedom.