No, I don’t have to go to any events if I don’t want to. Sometimes, though, our town has a lot of Interfaith stuff. Like, one church will host something and people from different denominations will go, or a temple will host the same event and everyone will go. So “our” events are also “their” events some of the time.

I would never say something truly in anger (except be snarky or do word play if literally backed into a corner) to these people. I’m afraid that they’ll be all, “Oh, hi, welcome… again” and them expect everything to be “fine”, or, if I dare say something that they look at me like I’m the one with the problem.

I felt such great fondness and affection for the congregation, and then she turns out to be emotionally abusive, and he turns out to be inappropriate with women. I know that people are human everywhere, it’s just so disappointing that they are, um, more human than most people LOL. It was a blow. I truly felt I lost a “father” on some level.

Mentally I put myself in this paradoxical role. Like, “How dare they treat me this way?” coupled with, “I must be somehow defective to be treated this way.”