I literally “feel your pain.” When you start life with low self-esteem and gain more self-esteem the pains of being a “people pleaser” are traded for feelings of loneliness due to breaking old habits. The positive trade off for me is I feel things more deeply than I ever have before. Both joys and sorrows move me more than I ever have and I count that as a good thing. Feelings of loneliness are acute but so is joy. I get moved to tears by things I see and experience that would have never moved me two or more years ago. Knowing that does not take away the sting of bad times but it does mean things aren’t always bad. When someone (even a opposite sex clerk in a store) treats me with a little extra attention I am appreciative and amazed that it happens at all. I agree with the previous comment that one has to learn to love “in spite of.” It can be frustrating and exhausting but it does have its up sides. One of the positive side benefits of always trying to be positive and kind is that those who would be just the opposite get exposed very easily and one can tell who one’s true friends are. If you have just one true friend it’s a good thing.

After the passing of my parents and being an adopted child my relatives seemed to not really have any overt interest in maintaining a relationship and I now live in a different part of the country so old familiar people just aren’t around. Many of them were not true friends to begin with so at least I know where I stand there.

I do volunteer my time with some people who truly appreciate my efforts and add value to my life. In many ways the adage “It is more blessed to give than to receive” and “It is in giving that we truly receive” has been a truism in my life.

Thank God, Buddha, or Allah that misery doesn’t last forever….