I’m a bit worried by the way he seems to treat your feelings. You’re under no obligation to put on a smiley face just because that’s what he wants, when things aren’t right between you.

Have a look at these two different styles of treating feelings (your own and those of others):

Emotion Dismissing

Just ignore subtle or lower-intensity negative emotions.

Negative emotions are toxic.

Negative emotions are punished—even if there is no misbehavior.

“You can have any emotion you want, and if you choose to have a negative one, it’s your own fault.”

Introspection to understand what one feels is a waste of time, or possibly even dangerous.

Feel bad about feeling bad.

“Get over it.”

“C’mon, give me a smile, honey!”

Emotion Coaching

Pay attention to lower-intensity emotions to prevent escalation.

Negative emotions are natural and healthy.

Negative emotions are discussed, given names, and empathized with.

“Negative emotions happen sometimes because bad things happen sometimes.”

Introspection to understand what one feels helps you have a sense optimism, control, and effective coping.

Feel accepting of feeling bad.

“Move through it.”

“You cry all you need to, honey.”
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If he’s a bit too much like the first list and you’d like more of the second, think about how you could ask for that. You deserve consideration for your feelings. Feeling put out after a fight is completely normal, and I don’t think the current agreement of “Let’s just not talk when I’m upset” is going to be healthy in the long run.

If you’re upset because of something he said, then he should know, and he should learn to deal with the feelings that produces in him, and learn that maybe he shouldn’t say that stuff.

Just my opinion.

My best wishes to you, I hope it works out.

(The emotion stuff taken from this site: http://www.thedirtynormal.com/blog/2011/09/21/emotion-coaching/ NB: it’s a blog about sexuality. No explicit images or pornographic content.)