Hi Sophia,

You sound as though you are treading water…

You’ve recognised some self made problems such as never truly committing to living there and spending as much free time as possible elsewhere which have limited your ability to build up a social network, the result of which is your isolation. It is a bonus that you enjoy your work and the company you work for 🙂

The definition of madness is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting a different outcome so….

As I see it you have three options:

1) STAY (but do it differently!)
As your home and work contracts are coming to an end you are in an ideal position to negotiate them.
Find another flat in the nicer part of the city that would give you a better lifestyle.
Look for flatmate(s) that you would have more in common with – the ‘spareroom’ website is great for this.
Could it be feasibly to work another 6 months in your current job in this city? This would give you a 6 month buffer to really give living there another go, you already enjoy your job so focus more on your social life. Is there a hobby you enjoy or something you’ve always wanted to try? Try the ‘Meetups’ app to find groups of like minded people to do things with whether its just having a drink after work or something more exciting. Is there anyone at work you get on with? Perhaps they can introduce you to their social circle?
Try to resist the temptation to escape at weekends – invite people to visit you instead, you can show them the sights whilst learning about the place you live yourself! 🙂 You never know what you might discover…

2) MOVE ON
It is tempting to just up sticks and move away again to start a fresh. BUT you have to ask yourself how you would stop history repeating itself…? You don’t want to end up in exactly the same situation just in a different city. What have you learnt that would help? Where would you go? Is there somewhere you already have friends or family members? Is there anywhere you feel drawn to that you would love to live? Is there anywhere that would be an especially good career move? Or somewhere you could study part time? OR would you just be moving to get out of this situation?

3) GO HOME
This obviously has financial benefits – as long as you could limit your outgoings whilst still working then you could save more efficiently for your travelling. But you need a plan and something to aim towards – just saving up to go travelling is too vague and can easily get lost and never fulfilled. If you do move home give yourself a time limit to save and set a goal of how long you want to travel for and which places you want to visit. This will help you to work out a rough budget so you will know how much you need to save. It will give you an aim and also keep your mind positive! I know you are not career focused, but is there something you can do whilst travelling that will eventually help you get into the career to which you do aspire? Some voluntary work perhaps? or a work placement? Will going help help you to build bridges with friends?

Above all be true to your inner voice – we all truly know what we truly want deep down.

Good luck with your decisions
x x x