Heal2014,

Considering how much time you spent anxious about the bullies, it makes sense that thoughts of them would come up alongside the very normal and usual anxiety most get when we go on interviews. The anxiety perhaps feels similar to the body, so it might get you thinking of the past, projecting it on to the present.

Here is a good place to use those meditation skills you’ve been growing. Stick to the feeling, letting whatever fearful thoughts accompany the feeling just come up and pass through like clouds. No need to do anything with them, just accept its normal to be anxious when we do stressful things, and move back the breath. Little ripples of memories of bullies, fading away, losing their strength.

If you’re getting caught up, thinking a lot about the bullies, not able to go back to the breath, consider wishing that the bullies mighy overcome whatever inner issues caused them to be jerks, for the benefit of themselves and everyone around them. Bullies can be quite lonely and desperate people, and sending well wishes to their side can help you accept that their actions didn’t really have anything to do with you, they were just trying to make their shitty day better at the cost of another. Fools, really. Why sweat it?

With warmth,
Matt