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Very close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Will I make it?

Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Very close to the light at the end of the tunnel. Will I make it?

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  • This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • May 11, 2015 at 3:29 pm #76629
    heal2014
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I have found TinyBuddha’s forums of great help and wisdom. 5 years back I was bullied by a gang of colleagues and that coupled with a few other highly stressful situations led to me developing Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have been through hell and back in the past few years and my family has also suffered much due to my GAD. Presently I am doing extremely well compared to the last few years.
    Taking good care of my health, exercising, meditation, counselling etc has helped immensely and am on the verge of getting my life back on track. However, there is still a part of me that is still very scared and afraid. During these years I developed a business that is going well. Now, it is time for me to make my business public as I need to find a job using the skills I developed through my business.
    I have already appeared for a few interviews and things are going well but I am also paranoid that the people who bullied me in the past might try to do something to my business. Part of me knows it is irrational and that they can do nothing and that I am much stronger than before, but sometimes I get very weak and upset by these thoughts.

    I really want to get a good job, provide for my family and rebuild my life. Any advice to deal with this difficult phase will be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

    May 11, 2015 at 7:42 pm #76634
    Matt
    Participant

    Heal2014,

    Considering how much time you spent anxious about the bullies, it makes sense that thoughts of them would come up alongside the very normal and usual anxiety most get when we go on interviews. The anxiety perhaps feels similar to the body, so it might get you thinking of the past, projecting it on to the present.

    Here is a good place to use those meditation skills you’ve been growing. Stick to the feeling, letting whatever fearful thoughts accompany the feeling just come up and pass through like clouds. No need to do anything with them, just accept its normal to be anxious when we do stressful things, and move back the breath. Little ripples of memories of bullies, fading away, losing their strength.

    If you’re getting caught up, thinking a lot about the bullies, not able to go back to the breath, consider wishing that the bullies mighy overcome whatever inner issues caused them to be jerks, for the benefit of themselves and everyone around them. Bullies can be quite lonely and desperate people, and sending well wishes to their side can help you accept that their actions didn’t really have anything to do with you, they were just trying to make their shitty day better at the cost of another. Fools, really. Why sweat it?

    With warmth,
    Matt

    May 13, 2015 at 9:06 am #76711
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Heal2014:
    Fear makes me breathe in a shallow way or hold my breath. To de-fear myself (just coined the term… ha ha) I intentionally breathe deeper. Fear make my muscles tight. To de-fear myself I relax my muscles. Slow deep breaths, relaxed muscles- every time you feel the fear. Sort of (continue, as you have done lots of work) to re-train your body- mind to be relaxed the best you can.
    Take Care and continue the good healing work.
    anita

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