Dear rodrigo:
Well, at least there is some improvement, however small. It sounds reasonable, what your friend said, that if you had people you like, people you feel connected to, people who care around you, opportunities to get together with- that would have helped. It is funny the way you put it, like your mind is “retarded” like you wrote. I hope you continue to improve, however slowly, have lots of patience with your “retarded” mind that … won’t listen to reason (because the “heart” or the emotional brain wants what it wants…) – that you don’t upset yourself with not being able to control the thoughts and images that come to your mind, that you practice lots of patience and self compassion and that eventually… things will improve enough. One day at a time. I think you are doing an excellent job and lots of efforts to get better.
anita