Dear ab786:
I am sorry you are suffering. I really am. I wish it wasn’t so. I wish you had the relationship you want and need with this girl. Unfortunately, as you know, wishing doesn’t make it so.

I hope you separate what is real from what is fantasy. Your fantasy about this extroverted, bubbly, pretty girl is different from the reality that you have been experiencing not happiness but misery in communication with her.

If I was you, I would let go of her: stop all communication with her. End the madness. Stop your bleeding, so to speak. Stop the suffering. Grieve the loss of your fantasy about having a love relationship or even a compassionate relationship of any kind with her. The answer to your distress, the loneliness before you met her- is NOT with her.

You are an intelligent, educated young man. When you asked if you are an idiot, my answer is as far as the intelligence of your heart, yes, you are. Or I should say, you have been. It is not wise to chase misery.

anita