Wow, you guys are the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you for chiming in and sharing your wisdom!

Anita, thank you – your words made me smile! And after I read them, I realized that if someone like you could accept my slobby tendencies, then I should be able to accept them and those same tendencies in others (I have had slobby partners in the past and I would give them grief for it – while stuffing away my slobbiness under a neat, clean exterior).

Matt, I cleaned my entire house. And now I have no desire to sit and watch TV. You were right. And I do procrastinate. I procrastinate with studying and that comes in the form of watching TV and neglecting my responsibilities like keeping my place in working order. I will try to just find and recognize the happiness that comes from doing these things. That’s a different perspective that I never thought of. Thank you!

Inky, you’re hilarious – you cracked me up! It’s good to read your words, and yes, it’s all true. I will try to remember that when I’m talking to the sweet, nice, hot guy that I think is out of my league. 🙂 Thanks!

Pink, thanks for sharing your experience. It’s good to know there’s someone out there who can relate. What you said about putting yourself first, especially with regards to friendships and not finding the partner or the job really hits home. I contemplated on this and realized that I really am my happiest when I take care of myself. I just went through a phase where I was saying no to things that didn’t fulfill me, I stopped pursuing friendships that didn’t match up with my interests and personality, and I spent lots of time in nature talking to the birds and squirrels and trees and stuff. It was easy for me then to go to sleep at night and I didn’t really think about not having friends or a partner or a career and my debt. I just realized that in wanting to pursue or date these guys, I’ve tossed that all out the window. I started caring about looking good and buying clothes. I developed this insecurity about not having friends and for dropping out of the student council… all things that I know would leave a better impression the guys. I do realize that during that time, I felt self-conscious, I smiled less, was ruder to others and felt like I was out of my body. Up until today I couldn’t figure out what had changed, but I know that I want to get that back. It’s funny that I can’t have both-the regard for how my life sizes up AND the self-care, self-love. Because when I get into the self-love phase I don’t care about anything else! Which isn’t really anything to complain about…until I want to date someone and I start thinking about how that doesn’t fit into a relationship with another. But maybe you’re right, that a relationship will come in time. I mostly believe this, but lately I’m starting to think that it may never come (especially when walking around the neighborhood by myself and seeing families hanging out together, having bbq’s ,celebrating Father’s Day…).

Nonetheless, I have cleaned my room, I have all of your wonderful wisdom to let sink into my brain and I’m healthy and alive. Thank you again for your help!!!