And sometimes I have all these revenge fantasies about getting back at the host family for the fact they were horrible people and I just want them to suffer. I imagine really bad things happening to them, I imagine going back there to act really spiteful towards them and to really drag their names through the dirt.

I don’t want to think thoughts of revenge either because revenge is not the answer. Revenge would not make me any happier or make me feel satisfied. So why do I still lust after getting even with them?