Hi There,

Is it me, or is the tone of your letter that his emotional affair was somehow worse than your actual affair? Even though your DH wasn’t “good” at the emotional stuff to you, he must have been devastated that you chose (however discreet you were) another man over him. And it was very big of him to forgive you. And him disconnecting and being a little mean afterwards is understandable!

And now he’s giving this woman what you so desperately wanted ~ emotional connection. So yes, he IS capable of that. Could it be that after 20 years things just get boring? And I’m surprised he wants your forgiveness, and didn’t throw your old secret lover back up in your face.

I know I’m all judge-y, but the tone of your post is like that of a parent being disappointed in a child. He is not a child. He is a grown man, your husband. Please don’t look on the internet for people to pat you on the back and say, “How dare he not fulfill your emotional needs!” but DO go to counseling together. And if that fails, wait until your child is a little older and then gracefully cast him loose to perhaps enjoy the colleague and you to possibly enjoy the man you were actually in love with.

Inky