Dear sanguine:

In your original post you wrote: “The next morning, after Ann had left for work…I saw the iPad..and quickly deduced that Ann had seen everything…I knew I was in trouble. The chat messages did not look good. I was terrified. So I decided to “come clean” and took several actions that, at the time, seemed necessary to save my marriage and remove and sense of impropriety…”

So, what you are telling me (and anyone who reads) is that your projection of a possible impropriety into Ann’s thinking was a misunderstanding you had with yourself since she did not view your IPad correspondence you had with Stef as imporper. So your whole thread is about clearing a misunderstanding that you are having with yourself?

And/ or is your thread about mending the relationship with Stef who misunderstood you when she said (this is your quote): ““how dare you, Ann’s trust is misplaced, knowing that you’re going behind her back infuriates me, you disgust me, don’t ever contact me again.”

Okay, sanguine, I will try to be helpful to you:

Please do not try to mend anything at all with Stef. Respect her request, passionately stated by her, to not contact her. Leave Stef alone as well as all past girlfriends. You are married now. And you have two children who need you very much.

Please minimize and better yet, end your Facebook thing and spend time with Ann and with your children instead. Your children need you with them, playing with toys and holding them and reading them stories.

anita