Hi Sanguine,

Having read your post the first thing that sprung to mind is rejection. I think the rejection you felt when Steph called things off all those years ago has contributed to your erratic behaviour. Honestly as a married woman I do not and cannot understand your behaviour. To me you have failed to get over the heart ache from losing Steph and while you firmly say you are not interested in an affair you are being driven by some compulsion. You are skating on very thin ice and in my opinion disrespecting your wife. Your trying to play your emotions down but I can practially hear you screaming out in frustration.
If I was you I would put Steph back where she belongs and that is in the past. You need to focus on the present, your wife and kids. Your wife seems like a really kind person give her the respects she deserves. Move on, focus on your family and the happiness they bring you and let go of Steph.

Letting go is never easy but it’s something that needs to be done to move forward.