Dear Lidewij:

Unsure, insecure, weak, lost are four adjectives you use to describe yourself. You would like to change yourself and become sure, secure, strong and feel comfortable where you are with what you are doing, even excited and motivated, goal minded, have friends, be involved etc. When you look at where you are mentally in comparison to your ideal. how you would like to be, the gap is huge, isn’t it? you want pretty much the opposite of what describes you, don’t you?

This is where the trap is, the comparison you make between your state of mind and affairs as is and what you would like your state of mind and affairs to be.

Once you accept your state of mind as is, unsure, insecure, weak and lost with peace of mind, once you relax into what is and stop wanting to change what is, you will be transformed. You will be transformed into what you are not imagining right now. I don’t know what that would be. You will exit the trap of comparing what is and the ideal in your mind.

Resist the temptation to continue to compare yourself to other people as well.

Can you repeat: “It is okay to be me. It is okay to be unsure. It is okay to be weak. It is okay to be lost. I am okay with who I am. I am okay with where I am. I am okay.”

If you repeated that and breathed in the words, how does it feel?

anita