Dear strider:

That may very well be what you need to do so to take care of yourself. Your job and responsibility is to take care of yourself, of your own well being. Are you thinking of having psychotherapy to explore your feelings, this draw to being solitary, this longing to be by yourself and try to perfect yourself (I wonder what you mean by ‘perfect’ yourself)?

You expressed misgiving about sharing here before, a few posts ago, it being an online, not in person, forum. So I understand you may not answer my question or share anymore here. It is your choice. There is no point in answering or sharing more unless you have some faith that it may be helpful.

Take care of yourself:
anita