Hey Everyone,

Things have certainly changed since I first made this post. It’s wild how much can happen in one weeks time.

As I mentioned earlier, she had been reaching out to me here and there. I think the longest we went without talking was two days or so. I haven’t given her much when she has reached out, I’m calm and nice but I certainly don’t chase her or beg for answers. On Saturday night we spoke briefly on the phone, I wanted to let her know that I think it would be unnecessary at this point for us to have a “deadline” on this break. She agreed, and although the conversation was sad and sincere it didn’t drag on or blow out of proportion. By Sunday I had a soft confidence in knowing that we would probably keep in touch with each other more than I had initially predicted, and I could feel better in letting the relationship go knowing that I was still on her mind. Time would pass a little more kindly.

This all changed last night, when we ended up texting until the early hours of the morning after she had been out with friends. She said she hoped to be able to see me soon, “if amenable”, and I said that I was afraid I wouldn’t have the emotional ability to handle that right now unless we planned on working on things between us. I reassured her that I didn’t want to shut her down, I didn’t mind that we were talking here and there, and that I wanted to handle this the best way possible. She said it was okay, and that I can reach out to her “when and if I want”. Then she said she’ll stop, followed by goodnight.

It hurt to read that. I guess I had found some comfort in my stance, but once again the bridge I was on swayed, and my footing was lost.

While I’ve worked every day on the idea of letting her go so that we may both take our time to work on ourselves, I thought that by maybe talking as much as we were it would make things go smoothly. I learned that’s not the case. So I guess now begins the time where we don’t talk for awhile. As heartbreaking as it is.

My birthday is in a few days. I’m assuming I’ll get a text then. Perhaps I’ll just reply with a thank you and keep the silence going for a couple weeks. I’m not sure what I’m looking for now. I’m hurting, but I’m keeping my head up and moving forward day by day. Hope you all can throw some insight my way.

Thank you.