eitherway,

That girl made her decision when she asked you for a break. She clearly doesn’t want to lose you but doesn’t seem to want to be with you either. That break wasn’t for her, it was for you to accept that she’s leaving while she slowly fades away. She’ll still text you and call you because you’ve put yourself as an option for her choosing. You’re nice to her and she’s slowly fading away and she likes that because it’s on good terms. That’s actually great for both of you really. However, what you should have done is told her that you understand her situation and told her that you will not accept a break and distanced yourself from her to actually force her to make a decision knowing that she’s already losing you. Instead you fell for a typical “break” scenario.

If there is anything I learned from failed relationships it’s that breaks don’t work unless both people in the relationship genuinely feel the need to temporarily separate because they both see their relationship struggle the same way and they both want to think about it and clear their minds. When one person wants to take a break while the other one literally accepts it as a fact – as in your case – that relationship is likely doomed.

I wish you best of luck. If she doesn’t come back so be it. It’ll hurt. You’ll be over it in a few months. You’ll have no choice. Remember if she was yours she’d have never have left in the first place. If she is – she’ll come back.