Thanks ladies, thank you for your compassionate replies.

Anita – yes as mentioned above I am seeing a therapist, but not feeling it’s helping yet, she is working with’traumatic’ memories from the past as opposed to dealing directly with the trauma of loss of my religion which makes me question the usefulness of it.

In regards to doing nothing (taking baby steps) the issue is I now find myself back at my parents’ in the middle
Of the countryside which is an isolated place to be and not the best for my state of mind, so doing nothing doesn’t feel like the best course of action either. I do try to meditate but no clear answer domes through, just conflicting ideas and contradictions.