Just when you said your situation was unique i realized that it’s 95% identical to mine. 🙂 I’m not gonna bother with mine but it gets better with time. Things will hurt less. Memories will become distant. At some point you’ll wonder if all of this happened to you. I know it hurts and feels terrible now, but on the bright side of things you’ve done all you could. No regrets. No what ifs. It’s the new year and new slate. Start healing and moving on.