Well we ended up talking again last night. We didn’t see each other, but we spent an hour and half talking on the phone. I was able to express all the pain and sadness I felt, all the things I felt were unfair, all the problems that were there. She apologized for her actions… and she told me how important I was to her and how much she wanted me to be in her life. She felt that we really rushed into things, and it wasn’t either of our faults but it made things very difficult for her. She never wanted it to be like she belonged to me, or her ex. She wanted to be independent even though we had some kind of relationship… But she was never really clear about that. I think she felt so much pressure from her previous one to be defined by the relationship that she was trying to avoid that again at all costs. She made a lot of mistakes with me, and she regrets them. She wants to try and start slowly again. No rushing into anything, just trying to build something better over time.

I told her we should take a full week before we talk again. I need to get some more clarity and she needs to understand what I want and need if we were to go forward – I made all of that pretty clear. She thought that was a good idea, and so thus the week has begun.

I’m conflicted. I of course really care about this girl and see the genuine feelings coming from her. I know she feels like she messed up, and I know she doesn’t want me back just because she’s lonely. She wants me back because she feels like I’m someone special too. I told her it wouldn’t work if her ex is still in the picture. That’s a stipulation I can’t back down on… but at this point I feel like I’ve put so much work into letting her go that it feels wrong to turn around. All of my friends and family have supported me, all of you on this site have supported me. To disown everyone’s support seems like the wrong thing to do. My sister thinks that it will just end up in a bad spot again… that after some 7 months of it I have a pretty good idea of how this girl handles things and what could happen again. I don’t want to put myself in that position.

I’m not sure what other information is useful here. I really felt like she was trying, but I don’t know if it’s right or wrong to work on it with her again. Thank you all again for your thoughts.