Dear Eddy and Anita, thank you for reading my post and trying to help me!
Anita:

As a child, my relationship with my father was not very good. My parents are very religous and they were disappointed when I let them know that religion was not for me. They still made me go to church and church related things, which I didn’t like.
My father is also not easy to get along with. He is very critical of everything and during childhood he also was critical of me. When my sister and I would fight, she always went to get my father and he always punished me and protected her. At least that is how I felt. I don’t know how accurate that memory is, I also wasn’t very nice to my sister!
About the invasion of privacy: well my father kept the key for the bathroom, because he was worried about someone hurting themself and then not being able to help. My parents would not enter the bathroom intentionally when I was using it, but it still made me feel uneasy.

Eddy:
I know it is not a real relationship, he even gets angry when I use the word and calls me sick.
The weird thing is, I realized very early on that this is not a healthy relationship but somehow I could not end it! Yesterday it happened again! In the morning he sent me that message that I had supposedly infected him and that I should get lost. He had written me all week about him being sick and about wanting my help and I had ignored it. But then I sent him a message telling him that I can’t help him and that he should ask a friend or doctor and leave me alone.
So later he wrote me again about wanting to talk and that I got everything wrong. He also wanted my help for a project he has to do for his studies. So we texted for a while, me saying I don’t want to talk to him, he not accepting it. After I repeatedly told him that I don’t want him to come to my room he called me a slut and said that I was not a human and that I was nothing. Because a human would talk it out. Then he still kept on writing me. I should not have written him back!
When he knocked at my door, I let him in. We talked. He insisted on lying down on my bed and me lying next to him. I tried to resist, but somehow I always do what he wants. He also made me hug him and kissed me even though I asked him not to. Then he told me he loved me, I was very confused and did not know what to say. It just made me feel guilty and uneasy. Later he said that he loved me as a friend and that he wants to see me happy. That he wants to even invite me to eat with him and his friends if they come visit him… I said that we could try to be friends, but I had my doubts. We have already tried being friends and it didn’t work! He still would touch me and try to have sex with me. And I just went along with it sometimes.
Then we would fight. He says it’s me who starts the fights, but I feel that I have to constantly have to defend myself against him!
So after a sleepless night I wrote another message to him that we can’t be friends and that I want no contact. This time I even blocked his facebook.
I feel like a very terrible person right now. Maybe it’s me who is the abusive one, maybe I’m playing with his feelings… It seems like he really has feelings for me! But I just cannot trust him! Maybe he is right and I am sick! In any case, it’s better if this thing ends. I think I am not good for him and he is not good for me. Part of me misses him, part of me wants to be friends, but I think it can never work!