I am guilty of so much of same things u worry about. worried about being perceived differently than intended when trying to be kind,etc.

You wrote something similar to you didn’t know what a slaughtered pig would sound like-and my thoughts were how much I did know what a pig did sound like. I grew up with both grandparents being farmers.

I spent my childhood in a backwards little town where racism, guns, and ignorance was the norm. It was a sin to dance in churches eyes. We went to church 4 hours on Sundays and then again on Wednesday night. Very little of what they tried to teach me sunk in except feeling guilty or ashamed. But I still was often a free spirited rebellious wild child with some major hang ups.

I am like you in that I do only eat meat that is humanly raised. I rarely eat red meat and only because I had a pot belly pig can I no longer enjoy pork. He ruined bacon for me. But I laughed when you said about the pig squeal because I thought of my pig. I used to keep a harness on him and walk him. When we would come across a bunch of acorns-he would want to stay and eat and eat. when I pulled his leash he would squeal like I was killing him. Now the harness was so I never did–he just wanted to stay and eat and eat. Neighbors would come out of their houses because the noise was so loud. It was deafening.

I am like you that I worry about being rejected when I am trying to be myself and do not want to offend. I believe you and I will always be ok with each other. We are part of the mutual admiration club that we never tried to become members of.

Seaisland