Hi Amy,

Deep down the father knows you’re not being a so-and-so, he knows that counseling and courses is the LEAST he should do so other people have a HOPE that visitation won’t be a nightmare for the child. Of course, telling someone they need counseling and courses is the same as telling them they are wrong, which is the last thing an alcoholic wants to hear!! So no guilt, OK? I mean what else is there to do at this point??

The other thing is him being in a relationship and moving in together ~ it’s like he is the bad guy (he is, IMHO) but look, he gets to live a normal-ish life and move on as if nothing ever happened and as if he is OK, and meanwhile you’re the one with all the guilt, all the angst, all the stress. So yeah, I’d be pissed at him too!

And listen, your child wasn’t the first accidental pregnancy and s/he won’t be the last. These things happen all the time, every day! The important thing is your child is here! And believe it or not, you are almost a third of the way raising him/her! It goes so quick, I know you don’t believe me, especially now! But the guilt is a useless emotion! Enjoy your child, and forget about the father unless it’s to make sure visitation is safe.

OK, you Hang in There!!

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by Inky.