Hi Anita,
I apologize it took me a few days to reply. You are correct; one more experience with him would want me to have another, and another. He is not, nor am I, in the position to do that. And I know my heart, my yearning would cause me more stress and heartache, in the end.
As far as my husband goes- we have discussed the situation frankly. His self esteem issues stem from his childhood, which was abusive. He doesn’t feel like he is good enough, etc. I compliment him, sincerely, often. While he does appreciate it…we are at square one, still. How have I been dealing w/ it? Patiently…but I yearn fir that level of intimacy again.

I just feel stressed & torn. I know in my heart, if I slept w/ college guy again- I would end up hurting myself. Yet I am trying to be patient w/ my husband, for whom my desire is starting to wane due to the lack of intimacy all of these years.

Thank you for listening.