Dear Anita,

It seems I am stuck with this feeling I cannot move past.

While I do not want to talk to my ex boyfriend, and have no intent on communicating with him, I strangely find myself wanting him to reach out to me, to send me a message.

This has been going on for about 2 weeks. I’ll wake up, see that I have notifications from Facebook and I find myself hoping that I have a message from him, which I don’t. It gets my heart going in the morning thinking about that possibility. Also, funny enough, when I wake up to turn on my alarm I find myself thinking it is him calling me. He doesn’t have my number, but on my screen it says “alarm” and when I wake up in the morning, my head blurs the letters a bit and it seems like it says “ala*”

I cannot find it within myself to delete him off of Facebook, and I want him badly to reach out to me. However, I know that even if he did reach out to me, that I would not respond.

There was a coincidence about a week ago, that I was at a stop sign and while I was checking to see if any cars were coming, I saw a small green car coming. I waited and I couldn’t help but notice that it was him driving. He slowed down right in front of me because of the terrible railroad tracks on that street and I found myself wanting to step on the gas and speed off. Seeing him just made my heart race and I didn’t like that seeing him made me want to do that.

I’m confused about it and do not know how to move forward from this.