Dear Thrownback:

You posted on a thread that has been inactive for 8 months, and your post is all about your personal experience, so I feel comfortable addressing your post:

You are in a distressing situation right now and it will take time to disentangle yourself from it, one step at a time. There are things to do right now and things to think about later on.

He says he needs to find himself, that is he broke up with you AND he has the pattern of doing so and coming back to you… and you have the pattern of allowing this to happen. So, as far as your kids, I wouldn’t communicate to them anything about a breakup and future of them seeing the guy, or not, because I don’t think you know yet what is going to happen. Whatever it is that is going to happen, if I was you, I would do everything in my power to give and maintain a calm and safe environment, home, for your children.

And there is the very important issue of your mental well being, important for your children and for yourself. Whatever happens with your boyfriend or ex boyfriend, needs to be something that promotes your mental well being, not what damages it.

If you would like we can communicate back and forth about your situation. What do you think about what I wrote so far and what is the situation right now, more of your thoughts…

anita