I am good so far. Valentines Day is coming up, and I have to accept that I am going to get a dinner out and some flowers gotten at the grocery store for 19.99 and handed to me. Probably a clumsy card with cartoons on it and kind of frivolous. Also be expecting to reciprocate with sex, as that is what R-2 thinks is loving. That is what is usual and I am OK with it after all these years. Just not disrupting things as not ready with my steps.

It is tolerable and that is because there is a deeply romantic man who out there, who will be sending me a deeply romantic card that brings me to tears. I have a PO Box for work, so he will send it there along with a small gift that I wouldn’t need to explain away. I will sit in the car and weep tears for the past, the present and future. I want to start the car and leave everything behind, and go to R-1. I must be logical at this point and not trash my future and have a hard life in our old age together. How are you doing? I see you are very busy in many forums and you have logical wisdom and give hope to those floundering. Your validation to me has been very important, and made me feel stronger and more fearless for the future. Thank you, I have no close girlfriends that I trust to confess these things, so I am so grateful for your thoughts.