anita –

you and i used to think the same! i wanted to be all the things you wanted to be, but i let go of all those dreams very recently. i rationed them down a lot and figured that maybe it’s too late or just not what god wanted. i think about acting now though a lot. i don’t necessarily know too many people (personally) that talk about the universe, but when i look at interviews from some of my favorite musicians, they make it sound that way. but now that you said that maybe they actually did something about what they put into the universe, i think that makes more sense. all i do is hope to play the piano or yada yada one day, but they actually taught themselves and put in all the work and stuff. or…one example he used one time was “if i want to fuck that pretty girl tonight, then i will cause i can cause i put that energy into the universe” lmao! but maybe that could happen just because he’s famous too. a lot of people do things without heart. but back to the universe, everyone makes it sound and look so easy. no one ever shows the gap in between and i think that that gets pretty confusing or almost ploylike.

i think a soulmate is more than a mutual attraction. it’s actually something i really don’t know i can explain. my grandpa would tell me that he loved me and i could actually feel the love. it was like…my heart did a backfip. and maybe that sounds a little silly or maybe even exaggerated, but that’s literally the only way i can explain it haha! it’s like i feel all these cool sprinkles around me or something. just like an actual feeling. my mother or my father, i don’t think they can do the same thing. with the guy i like, he’s of course never told me he loved me, but there’s just a feeling that i get about him that makes me feel that he’s the one. as if someone’s over my shoulder tapping me and whispering in my ear, “yeah, that’s the one, girl!” haha! i just feel like i know (or my heart or higher self knows). he’s different and i can tell. i’m sure that we are aware of things beyond us for the most part.

the universe is really a complex thing though. i don’t think anyone really knows what they’re talking about when they talk about it, but if my grandpa explained more to me i think i’d have a better understanding. he really lived by it and that’s one of the things i wish i could’ve asked him about and see what he knew about it in full.