Dear Wisdom:

Of course I have these feelings that you described in the last two posts and in previous posts. We do have a lot in common. I wish there was a fast and easy way to feel better. The path of healing is long and requires patience. It requires a lot of patience and … faith that you are indeed walking that healing path, that path leading to mental health, mental well being.

Comparing yourself to others and to yourself when you were skinnier, of course I can relate. Only yesterday I saw a photo of myself when I was skinnier and I felt badly! But then I remembered myself at the time that photo was taken. Although I was skinnier, I was in a bad shape otherwise. I remember that. And I am not overweight now. I am just not as skinny.

We get these ideas in mind: if we were only skinnier and if only we knew how to play the piano, then everything would be all right. But this is not true. When I was skinny I was not all right. And there are plenty of people who can play the piano that .. are not all right.

There is a way for you, Wisdom, to feel adequate. You are adequate as you are, right now. You just don’t know it. Sometimes you know it but you don’t trust it. Make it a goal to know what is true.

The mirror exercise: talk to yourself. Get to know yourself as the worthy, adequate person that you are.

The assignment of the day, another mirror exercise or maybe a drawing, like you were a little girl.. communicate with that little girl in you? Let her talk to you..?

I am not sure. i don’t know what exercise would be right for you now. Maybe you can come up with one, experiment with it, see if it works, do something else if it doesn’t work. Please do let me know.

There is fear that comes with hope. Don’t let that fear take you down. Relax, calm yourself, distract yourself when you are overwhelmed (in non destructive ways)- watch TV, something like that… take a walk. Hot bath.

There is a way to feel adequate, only it is a long way. You are 19. If the way takes five years, you will be in good shape when you are 24. This is worth it. Start small, have faith. Keep posting and remember, please: just because it is not simple or fast, does not mean there is no way. It is just not… a simple or fast way.

anita