One of my concerns is that R-1 has two sons in their 30’s who are up in his business constantly. Since they had found out about our connection, they have overtly threatened me and him about blowing this up for me. They had called my home phone a year ago and threatened to tell my husband and call my son at college and make it bad for me. ( You can google anything these days….). So I backed down and made sure they thought it was over between us. I wasn’t ready to blow up my life at the time. I have been putting steps in place and able to make the move, once I am assured that his sons are on their own and R-1 has stopped enabling them. They were living with him as they were unemployed and he enabled them for years having them live in the marital home for more than 8 years and still unemployed. I have told him I wont make a move until I see that they are on their own and out of his business. The ex is using them to report on his activities and comings and going. We only talk at work and he has no cell phone as they took that from him at the time of discovery. He relented as he was protecting me from any hassle and injury to my life as it is. This is what is stopping me from pulling the trigger right now. I want to see them out of his house and there are some tepid plans of them moving out at end of March. I refuse to marry the whole family…….