Dear Nan:

I think this is where a Hollywood story differs from real life. In the movie, Robert is Clint Eastwood whom we all know to be big time international super star. In real life, R-1 is a meek guy, isn’t he? One that was easily manipulated and controlled by your mother, a man who didn’t approach you when you dropped him a good bye note because he was scared of your mother. And only a year ago his sons threatened you. He is not that mega super star Clint Eastwood. He is a man as afraid as you are, holding on to the hope of love to save him, just as you are holding on to a hope of love to save you.

What matters, I believe, is that you stand up for yourself and free yourself from slavery, being a slave to your fear and staying in a marriage based on fear and control.

R-1 will not save you from R-2, or from your fears and he hasn’t so far. Only you can save yourself.

And you will get older and older and die whether still in slavery or free. It is up to you, if before you die, in one act of courage, you free yourself and live the rest of your life free of slavery, free of the humiliation and indignity of being a slave to R-2… to your mother before him… and to your fears, most of all.

anita