I find that the only day i could study for the physics honors test on forces was monday since friday-sunday was helping my parents with the restaurant service test. so i was a bit stressed on the test today, i think i got at least a 75 or higher on it. i dislike squats with weights because they are hard, but they are harder when your heels are on an incline. i tried throwing the 2 lb discus today and i managed to be able to roll it across the ground, but i still need to work on my aim for discus. my team mates are great, but sometimes i feel left out because most of them have experience in throwing while this is my first time. i think i managed to make the discus go straight along the ground once and threw it 5 inches once and the rest of the time, i either couldn’t position my hand right, go through the motions of throwing right and the discus would be spiked from my hand and roll sideways instead of going straight. the coach is tough, but has a good sense of humor so we often get things done quite well and in shape and we also have fun while doing it. he is a good coach who knows how to lead and encourage his athletes to try their hardest and be strong, not just in throwing, but also in other aspects of life. also all the hip movements and the calisthenics we’ve been doing have improved my flexibility, speed and balance. i can control my hip movements when i am on a balance ball much better than i could freshman year. i think when i go rollerblading this summer, i will have more balance. also the workout we did yesterday helped build muscle, endurance, strength and balance so when my dad took me out to teach me how to drive, i was actually a decent driver. the only thing i had to work on was adding more fuel to the car to make it go and also controlling the steering wheel so it wouldn’t veer off into another lane. i also realized that when i wanted to turn i had to plan 15 minutes in advance and prepare to or i wouldn’t be able to turn and would have to keep going straight. my ap english friend who is great at literature (dave) is great, he helped me catch up with the notes since i had to see the cardiologist (clearance of sports was successful) today and i missed my first two blocks (ap english and ap world history, which i found out i only missed a page of notes in ap world history and not much in ap english). i feel like even though it’s only been two days of practice, i feel better about myself, much stronger, more balanced and also i am more confident and i don’t let other people’s actions define my happiness, i have started to find happiness within from the sheer euphoria i get after sprinting and also throwing and also through meditation. there are some days when i feel so spiritually alive and healthy that nothing seems impossible and no matter what happens around me, i feel like i can overcome every obstacle, those are the days when i feel like the buddha is beside me and i am fulfilled. i am working on incorporating those days into my life so i have them with me always instead of having some days in which my mind feels hazy and i doubt my health. i am also grateful to my friend dave since he is helping me not feel so stressed in my classes and to not pay attention to the competition. also, my ap english friend who is great at science (andrew) and i are still competing, but since dave is helping me, i’m not as stressed and the three of us have become quite good friends. i think i will refer to them by their names now since i know now they don’t mind me talking about them to my other friends. my special friend and i have been busy with sports schedules, but i feel worried about him because he seems to be so insecure about himself these days, he seems jealous of my lunch buddy because we both are in track and field, and my lunch buddy and i spend more time together, i think he feels like he isn’t good enough for me and that isn’t true. he’s the reason why i try hard and seeing him gives me hope, sometimes just thinking of him helps me work out harder and better at track and field, he is a great encouragement. i know that we have busy schedules, but i would do anything to make him know that he isn’t alone, that he is good enough, that i care about him. my special friend is the reason i know what spiritual love truly is and he is the reason that i know how to hope and live life to the fullest since he showed me the way out of darkness when i was bullied in seventh grade.