My understanding of ‘unattachment’ in this way is not that you can’t want something or someone, that you can’t feel a desire to be with someone but that it does not become your be all and main focus or reason for doing things, that you don’t grasp at it and clutch it tight to you and feel disproportionate emotional pain at the thought of it being ripped apart from you.

My understanding is that it is like sitting in a garden when a bird lands in front of you and you hold out your hand to the bird. you understand that it is the birds nature to not be held, to fly away but that doesn’t mean you can’t have great joy when it decides to hop on you hand and look you in the eye for a while and if it does that you don’t try and grab it and keep it as a pet in a cage but you stay still and allow it to be and when it flies off you don’t feel pain at it leaving or lesser for it going but joy that you had that rare precious moment with it.