Dear Nan:

I think it is wise of you to observe as you did. Good job observing, says I!

What if he whines about everything because it has been working for him, like a pouting kid whose mother rushes to fix what is wrong. “I don’t like this!” he pouts! “I’ll fix it. Now, is it better?” is your response. So in this dance, as you call it, he whines and you encourage it. What would happen if he stopped whining? Who will rush to attend to him..?

And maybe you are caught in this dance, or have been caught because it worked for you: made you feel important, purposeful.

And… maybe you are ready for a different kind of a dance.

anita