Dear medalami2:

I read your post and noticed that in your despair, you still have a sense of humor.

You wrote repeatedly that you shouldn’t be with her but you are because you are afraid to be alone, that no one will make you as happy as she sometimes does. You are obviously very attached to her and like her except for her hooking up with other men, for her having male friends (fewer now, you wrote), going clubbing and dressing in very revealing clothes.

You do refer to her as a possible “future wife” so obviously you are not ready to leave the relationship with her. But you are very distressed about the relationship as is.

Regarding advice: I advise you to talk to her so to get information from her about her and how she sees the relationship with you. Then you evaluate the information she gives you. Can you share a conversation you had with her on matters important to you, like her hooking up with other men, or clubbing. Can you relay how a conversation with her went: what did you say to her, what did she say to you, back and forth, so that I get an understanding about how the two of you communicate with each other?

anita