The water kettle of my life never knew what cooling down meant, it was normal for my steam whistle to blow off at any moment without warning. Having this uncontrolled rage living inside of me never actually gave me a sense of alarm. In fact I began to embrace it, all of this energy surging inside of me, if I could get angry before going out the door; I knew it was going to be a good day or at least I thought of it as one.

During the course of a week, if I had not engaged in at least five fist fights at school something was truly wrong. Forming relationships was difficult for me until I got into a sports program and got interested in females. Never allow females to get passed the walls I had built around myself. As a child I would witness a pattern of physical violence that was most distrubing. Because of what I had seen as a boy, I could never brutally harm anyone.

Anger for me became a need, an addiction as strong as opium and I knew that only a higher power as God was my only hope. It would take years for anger to lose its grip on my life. When I think about it, I shudder at how close I was to going over the edge.

It has been a road of discovery for me. First came forgiveness, self control, learning how to use this energy I had bottled up inside of me, peace, happiness and finally a bubbling fountain of joy. Love would not darken my door until I quit looking for it in all of the wrong places. Emotions are generally electro-charged bursts of energy which can enrich our life or destroy it.

When you are ready to step out of this emotion rollercoaster of rage, you may stumble or fall flat on your face but never give up. There is always a helping hand extended in your direction but it will remain out of reach unless you reach up and take hold of it firmly. Then you will be up on your feet again.